Giving More While Feeling Small

Where am I? I feel so lost and yet so driven. So many things have transpired between the month of September and this new year, 2015, in the month of January. I have endured pain, both physical and mental, taking my concentration away from writing. I published a book-not entirely pleased but it is done. The holidays are over for a while, so I guess I should get back to work. Thing is, I am frightened.

I have a heavy heart, I am asking myself if I should do this. I want to be honest with you because you are reading this and for what other reason would I write this-than to convey something to my audience. How is my audience, do I have an audience left?

I want to share something with you. Why, you ask?

Number 1, I want you to understand that a writer endures as much, if not more pain in their endeavors to feel worthy. Worth, comes with scars and hardened callouses, believe me. I want you to see that writing is not a fun pastime that just anyone can pay tribute. Writing hurts, it tears open your chest and reveals what truly lies underneath. Trust me, it really does.

Number 2, I want you to understand your limits and then go beyond these limits, into places you have never been before. For instance, stop using the word “very” for example. It has no place in the human language whatsoever. Do not be afraid of the poem. If you have never written one before, read them. Do not be frightened of the novel, just get started and do what you can, when you can and …just write, already.

I also want to share something with you because I am sad. I have received another critique and unfortunately, I cannot call this honest individual an idiot. Maybe I can call them rude or inconsiderate, but not an idiot. I feel downtrodden, dumb and unworthy at this moment, and I need a friend.

So, for these reasons, I will tell you what I want you to know. Your image is important as a writer, and so take care of what you do. Pay attention to detail, learn and apply what you learn. If you write a book, and maybe you will, do it right the first time. Get an editor, because I didn’t and now my book says very little about my true talent. Don’t get me wrong, my book may be thought provoking in areas and it is my memoir, which is true, but sadly, it is deeply flawed with typos, sentence structure mistakes and yes, it rambles on and on in places. See, just like that sentence there.

I now have to resurrect my image and try harder. Where some would give up, I pull up my broken straps and clean the smeared mascara from under my eyes. I refuse to let the review of a rude and inconsiderate person to mold and descecrate my image. I yet, do not know how it shall be done, but I will prevail.

Why do I tell you this, you may ask?

I tell you this because, the road to redemption starts with honesty. I share my failures so that some of you will pause and read through that document one more time before you email your work. I share to make you sacrifice that money you love so much to get an editor-A real editor.

It’s worth it, you are worth it! If you fail, this too shall pass.

4 thoughts on “Giving More While Feeling Small

  1. I think I can relate to much of your experiences, and even though we have never met, I feel a kinship with you. There is an intimacy between a reader and a writer, especially when the work is autobiographical and deep and honest. You have inspired me with your courage to write. It was mostly your writing that inspired me to attempt to write a book and put it out there, not knowing who will actually buy it and read it, and taking the risk of negative reviews in a public forum. So if my book flops, I am blaming you…. just kidding, my book won’t flop! I hope.

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  2. Go for it! I have confidence in you. I know that regardless to what you may endure, you can be a successful author. There have been too many novelists who have received harsh criticism and managed to push on. So, understand when I say, I hope you receive criticism, instruction and maybe a few hard words. This is the meat of a writer. I love you dearly!

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