No, I am not dead and I did not give up the craft. I simply entered a new arena with a few shady characters. There were also a few genuine players there as well. I am not defeated, beaten or ground into the earth. I have encountered a different set of priorities which pulled me away from my professional site.
One of the most pressing issues, as of late, is the release of my Memoir. For several months, and I do mean several in the longest sense of the word, I have been hard at work on my life story. I have also been putting my pen to the digital grindstone, at the house of peanuts-otherwise known as the content mill. Apparently, they aren’t the biggest fans of my speed writing and receiving a grand total of monthly gas funds. So, I played my hand with other venues, like creative writing proposals and health and wellness sites. These too were just a small portion of my collection in funds. So, I turned round and round within the hamster’s wheel and churned out word after word and shot after shot of elbow grease. I have managed to keep my head above water once again.
On another note, however, I have struggled with the dark and dismal disease of depression while writing about real-estate, dentists and mechanics. I have sat with my pencil between my teeth, because heaven forbid, would I ever write with one. I have stared into the eye of writing abyss until my chronic dry eye reached mega proportions of horrid pain. I have driven myself to the edge of sanity and then came back for another round or two.
I am not dead. It seems that I have dug down deep into another level of obsession and found even the darkest moods to be uplifting and tranquil after a writing session. Heaven it seems, is sometimes surrounded by the hell of a row of sharpened barbed wire fences, boundaries that try to take your very life.
I am not dead, and I sit here with the chewed up pencil between my teeth as I smile. I am ready to enter a new level, dance upon a new stage and cut away, yet another portion of myself for the craft! Ahhh, here we go again!